At around 5 in the morning, a friend of mine popped a message at my YM, asking me if I wanted to partee. I had no idea what she was talking about and I certainly had no intentions to hide my naivete.
"Hey, I'm all for trying new stuff but can you be more specific?"
"Part-E! My friend bailed out on me and I really wanna partee. Don't worry, it's gonna be fun."
"Hmm... I'm not so sure about this."
"We're gonna have fun! And don't worry, I'll take care of you."
"Well... you see, I've never tried any of this stuff before."
"Then try it with me. I assure you, you're gonna love it."
"Hmmm..."
"If you really don't want to, I'll just go ask someone else."
I had a terrible crush on her at the time, so I couldn't really refuse. Also, I was hoping that parteeing would get us both horny and that one thing would lead to another and we'd end up flirting. To make the long story short, we ended up here at my place, with me still wondering what the fuss about parteeing was all about. Deep down inside, I was still hoping that we'd cuddle.
She gave me the tab, and I really didn't know what to do with it. Should I swallow it whole? Chew on it? Melt it in my mouth first? I really had no idea, and no, I'm not gonna ask her. I've asked enough questions already that I'm sure if I ask one more stupid question, she'd die laughing.
"After you."
We were watching a Moby live performance on DVD while waiting for the hits to come. It didn't take long for hers to come though. She stood up and started stretching and doing some yoga stuff. Me, I'm still waiting for whatever will happen. She started dancing, and man, she's a great dancer.
"But I'm still normal."
"Just relax. It'll come."
Of course I trust her. But I really couldn't help but recall that scene from the movie "Go" where the girl sold aspirin to unsuspecting kids and told them that it was ecstacy. "Pharmaceutical grade, none of that crunchy urban rave shit." Nah, she wouldn't screw me over one lousy hit. And she's having a good time already--dancing like I wasn't even there.
I really can't recall when it started to hit me, but the music just started sounding a whole lot better. She noticed my reaction and gave me the inhaler. The inhaler, combine with hits, really does make a huge difference. I tell you, the tab was awesome! It starts slowly, letting you feel the difference at a very casual pace. I stood up, started to feel everything around me, even the walls of my pad. I really can't explain the sensation... your senses get a little off, while at the same time, enhanced. I tell you, my sound system never sounded that good before, and I never appreciated it as much as I do nowadays. She was impressed by the surround sound as well, and she kept on dancing to the sounds of Chicane and Moby.
What I experienced was really beyond anything I ever expected. Words simply won't do it justice. A beautiful girl was dancing in front of me, and the only light we had was emanating from the TV behind her. And what I could glimpse of the light was so beautiful... indeed a visceral silhouette. Everything fell into place--the music, the lights, the ecstatic feeling... we hugged each other.
Compared to my friends, I'm still relatively new to the partee scene... especially since I partee with the same people most of the time. Anway, the girl who taught me how to partee was pretty cool about it, nothing sexual--just the occasional hugs, cuddling, massaging, and of course, dancing.
So, I was parteeing last saturday with my new partee group whom I met recently. While I was told that parteeing has a somewhat different effect on girls, I've never really seen to what extent the effect could be. That night, I found out. I would hear soft moans whenever the music would slow down, and of course, since they were really touching and feeling each other, I assumed moaning would be inevitable. But then again, I also assumed that things would not go further than sensually rubbing each other's exposed body parts. We were all fully clothed, mind you.
Since the moaning continued, I naturally looked to my left (where the sound was coming from). She was wearing dark clothes, the guy was all over her, and all the lights were off so I couldn't really see that his hand was inside her pants, feeling her (but in retrospect, I'm not really sure about what I saw. I was on a high, y'know). When she saw me looking, she shifted to somewhat cover what was happening. The thing is, I wouldn't have known what was happening had she not shifted.
So, what's wrong with that, you ask? Nothing really. In fact, it's all good, since parteeing is all about having fun, and hey, I have a girl around my arms as well. It's just that the girl who taught me how to partee never told me that it could make people horny. It never made me horny... flirty, yes, but I'm always like that. Anyway, I do hope that I never get horny whenever I'm parteeing. I'm afraid that I might lose my hits, which does not come cheap.
Now, the Ultimate House Partee would consist of what elements? There's the sound system, the venue, the paraphernalia (photons, shades, lotion, inhaler, h2o, gum, and other whatnots), the music, and the partee people. But what's the most important element? The one that would make or brake the house partee? It's the tab!
During the partee last saturday night, I had the best hit of my life--arguably the best tab I've dropped since blue anchors. So why is it the most important element? Well, we've parteed at the place several times already. The sound system is mediocre, the playlist is a mess since we did not have a designated DJ, and the music wasn't loud enough. But despite all those limitations, I was treated to the best light show, the best music, and the best partee friends! The partee was simply amazing! I could not stay in one place no matter how I tried.
You see, people do a lot of different things when they have hits. Most of my friends just lie down and touch and feel each other all over when the hits are coming. Well, it doesn't bother me but it's not for me. This one partee we had, there were just four of us. And all of them were lying down, feeling whatever they could feel--the pillows, the floor, each other. I, on the other hand, was dancing all alone. Still, I enjoyed it. I like to dance, whether alone or in a group, so long as I like the music.
Fortunately for me, the new partee people that I met last Saturday loved to dance. Ok, so some other guy was taking care of the girl that I like, but what could I do? I tried to sit down and cuddle with her, but the hit was so nice, and the music was pulling me away from her. It would've been perfect if she only danced with me, but alas, that's not her trip. And there was only so much I could do. The music kept sounding better and better until I had to pull myself away from her and onto the dance floor. I danced non-stop, to the amusement of most people. They'd take short breaks but I would keep going on, and when they got back, I was still moving. Well, what can I do? I love house music. And when you groove to the music, the hits just keep getting better and better.
Labor law is one of my weaker subjects. The main reason is that my professor in Labor 1 and 2 way back in 1st year law school was not a good professor. It never really bothered me before, because I was satisfied so long as I pass the course. And I did.
Now I realize that I should've picked a new professor when I took up Labor 2, so as to salvage the rest of the course. So now, along with Taxation (my professor in tax was worse), Labor Law Review is a pain in the ass for me.
And now, my professor in Labor Law Review is an absentee professor. We only have a few weeks left before the finals and he's only been to class three times. He's a good professor; I actually learned a lot during those few times that he conducted classes. But damn, I just wish he'd show up more often so that I'd be pressed to study harder. Otherwise, if it'll be just like this, he might as well tell us to prepare for the finals so that we can study at home. That's what we're doing now, anyway. That would be better than going to class, waiting for him to show up.
Before you all start thinking that parteeing is all that, I’ll have you know that I’ve been to some partees that really blow. What could possibly go wrong? I didn’t realize it sooner but it appears that there are two essential elements in order to have fun at a partee. One element that I haven’t mentioned before proved to be crucial in this particular partee—the hot chick, or lack thereof. Who would’ve thought that the absence of a really gorgeous chick around my arms could spell the difference between good vibes and bad vibes? After all, I clearly established in my previous blogs that when I partee, I tend not to be too intimate with a partee girl, right? Apparently, these are the two essential elements and they are needed in order to have fun—and if you have one, you can do without the other. But if you’re missing these two elements, heed my advice and stay home.
After having a really nice partee with people I recently met, the hosts simply had to schedule a follow-up partee. Now, this wasn’t planned carefully, as opposed to the other event we had. This partee was finalized on the very same day, and we were to meet in about six hours.
From the start, everything was falling apart. They had trouble getting good tabs, everyone was late, and there were only four of us this time—my crush, for reasons that she would later on tell me, was not able to make it. Things would have been so different if she was there cuddling with me. But it went from bad to worse. We all said that we didn’t have enough money for one whole tab per person, so we just had two tabs with us and each of us dropped half a tab. Unfortunately for me, the tab that they got is particularly weak. For my friends, half of that is enough, but for me I think I’d need two of those to really peak.
And so it began. The people that I was with were not particularly fond of dancing so they were just lying down, caressing each other, doing stuff that I’d rather not think about. Me? I was dancing. I really like to dance whenever I have hits, and to each his own right? People have different trips when it comes to parteeing, and unfortunately for me, I was the only one who was in a dancing mood (but then again, I’m always in a dancing mood). I swear, my hit was self-induced. That was a really weak tab. But hey, it's all about the music right? It’s the music that sucks you in, not the drug. Yeah, I kept saying that to myself, just so that the thought of me having fun would supersede the thought that I should’ve just stayed home.
My aunt gave me her old Microtek Scanmaker V310, and it was still in good condition. In fact, it could pass as a relatively new scanner (from the looks alone) despite the fact that it is several years old. Hand-me-downs are great, don't you think? Especially if the item is still in excellent condition.
I really didn't know why she gave me her scanner, but now I have a theory. It's because the damn thing won't work on Windows XP!
Apparently, Microtek discontinued support for this particular model and no new drivers are available. The latest driver on the net is for Win2000, and it still won't work. Ok, well here's the real problem. I installed the driver and everything was ok. The driver included a built-in test, just to see if the scanner is working. So, I tested it and the scanner was able to show the cover of the magazine which I scanned. When you look at Scanners and Cameras under Control Panel, the scanner would appear. But when you click on the Scanner and Camera Wizard of WinXP, the damn OS can't detect my scanner! What gives?!?
I'm pretty sure the scanner is working and that I set it up correctly. The other software which I installed (it came with the driver CD) was working fine. Omnipage is an app that scans a page of text and automatically encodes it and converts it to a word document. And it's working. No problems with the app whatsoever.
The problem is with the accursed driver! Microtek included a driver that does nothing, absolutely nothing! It doesn't have a built-in scanner software. If it had, then problem solved. I won't have to rely on XP's built-in scanner app just to be able to scan a freakin' photo. I wouldn't care if XP's scanner wizard can't detect my scanner if only Microtek included a proprietary app that would do what their product is supposed to do--scan.
I guess I should also state that I've no need for the scanner, well none yet. But it's just killing me that this big useless artifact is taking up space and it won't even work properly! Microtek, I will never buy a product from you!
Session Start: Sun Feb 22 01:35:55 2004
Session Ident: firewoman
<firewoman> hi
<Orbital8> i'm surprised you're still alive
<Orbital8> how's it goin?
<Orbital8> i was just kiddin, y'know
<firewoman> what a thing to besurprisedabout
<firewoman> life's still weird. nothing new.
<Orbital8> u deleted your myspace acct. gimme the url of your blog
<firewoman> kidding about?
<Orbital8> i'm lagging. wait. stop ko lang yung download ko
<firewoman> mukhang madami kang kausap a
<Orbital8> i was kidding about being suprised that you're still alive
<Orbital8> so how's life treating you?
<firewoman> i have a recent blog... kaso i dont share it nga dba...
<Orbital8> wala po akong kausap. kaw lang
<firewoman> life is still ugly.
<firewoman> nothing new
<Orbital8> u deleted your myspace acct. gimme the url of your blog
<Orbital8> see? kaw dyan madaming kausap
<Orbital8> leanne? yoohoo?
<firewoman> u really want to see my blog?
<firewoman> no one has ever read it. ever.
<firewoman> I'm a little scared of showing it to someone, it's kinda personal kse...
<firewoman> la ako kausap.
<Orbital8> won't you show it to me?
<firewoman> ???
<firewoman> labo mo a
<Orbital8> your blog
<Orbital8> may i read it?
<firewoman> ok lang. kso maboboringan kalang dun e
<firewoman> puro drama.
<Orbital8> ok lang. i love drama =)
<firewoman> and if i would show you,I won't really welcome any judgment. I don't really need that.
<firewoman> just read if you want and keep quiet.
<firewoman> and feel honored also
<Orbital8> alrighty. what's the url?
<firewoman> cause it'll be the first time that I'll be giving it away.
<Orbital8> =P
<firewoman> and its dull and plain, and its unappealing,cause I don't really want any readers.
<Orbital8> try me
<Orbital8> san na?
Session Start: Sun Feb 22 02:19:12 2004
Session Ident: firewoman
<Orbital8> leanne, so sorry
<Orbital8> my pc was acting up
<Orbital8> reall sorry about that
<Orbital8> so san na yung url?
<firewoman> ******.blogspot.com
<Orbital8> got it
<Orbital8> so you really sought professional help?
<firewoman> i did, didn't i tell you?
<firewoman> im under psychotherapy. severe stress and anxiety
<Orbital8> you said you were plannin to. i thought you were kidding
<Orbital8> all because of some guy?!?
<firewoman> i couldn't kid about stuff like that.
<firewoman> nah... too many guys
<Orbital8> really
<firewoman> well... too many married guys.
<Orbital8> that's really your problem
<firewoman> wasnt my fault though. they shouldve told me they were tied.
<firewoman> men are fucking liars.
<Orbital8> y'know...
<firewoman> i mean,i should've stayed where it was safe
<Orbital8> can you not tell if someone's married already?
<firewoman> e mashado akong nagmamarunong. yan tuloy.
<firewoman> its hard to explain. youd just argue with me. you wont be able to understand.
<Orbital8> nah
<Orbital8> i'm not here to argue
<firewoman> i dont wana take the risk
<Orbital8> but maybe you should try to look at things from another point of view from now on
<firewoman> i just gravitate towards the wrong people. all the time.
<firewoman> its tiring.
<Orbital8> that's what i mean
<Orbital8> it's the way you look at people
<Orbital8> try to change it
<firewoman> im tired lang. school, work, and everything. Im too young to carry everything tht I thought I could handle
<firewoman> dont do that.
<firewoman> you have no idea on how i look at people
<firewoman> you dont have he slightest idea
<Orbital8> well, maybe i do and maybe i dnt
<firewoman> *the
<Orbital8> try to look at things from another point of view, that's all i'm saying
<Orbital8> and you're right
<Orbital8> you're too young
<firewoman> you don't.
<Orbital8> you're too pretty and too young to be punishing yourself
<Orbital8> most of your problems are self-inflicted anway
<firewoman> i know. feeling ko ata superhero ako e.
<firewoman> thats what the doctor said...
<firewoman> im punishing myself to feed my conscience
<Orbital8> see? and you had to pay your doctor?!? just come see me at my office
<firewoman> to justify the wrong things that i did.
<Orbital8> what wrong things? sounds juicy
<firewoman> no one was punishing me, and i did the punishing for myself daw... since i was brought up to be really disciplined and shit. like, good stuff are rewarded to goos people and the bad are punished.
<Orbital8> i'm sure by now you know what you need
<firewoman> since I see myself as i good person, I had to self inflict pain in order for me to feel that I've suffered enough.
<firewoman> not that e thing again
<firewoman> please.
<firewoman> no drugs.
<Orbital8> oh no
<Orbital8> not that
<Orbital8> well, that's one specific way, but i wasn't referring to that really
<firewoman> what? spiritual advisers?
<Orbital8> you just need to let go
<Orbital8> just let go
<firewoman> i have that.
<Orbital8> just let go
<Orbital8> just let go
<firewoman> i know.
<firewoman> im working on that.
<Orbital8> only after you've lost everything will you be free to do anything --tyler durden
<firewoman> its not as easy as it sounds
<Orbital8> i was able to do it
<Orbital8> i was like you once
<firewoman> can't say that
<Orbital8> i mean, i tried to do everything by the book
<Orbital8> followed all the rules
<Orbital8> that was really stupid
<firewoman> my boyfriend died on my debut.
<Orbital8> why'd he die?
<firewoman> everything went down from there.
<firewoman> the thing is, i never was into drugs or anything like that
<firewoman> soun... no output.
<firewoman> car accident.
<Orbital8> car accident. how's that got anything to do with you?
<firewoman> tough huh?
<firewoman> =(
<firewoman> oh well...
<firewoman> we were'nt in good terms.
<firewoman> we fought.
<firewoman> then he died.
<Orbital8> still
<Orbital8> how's that got anything to do with you?
<Orbital8> it's not like you grabbed the wheel while he was drivin, right?
<firewoman> then un.... i kinda got into the affairs and the shit ive done
<firewoman> not justifying myself. i know im wrong.
<firewoman> well losing someone you love hurts.
<firewoman> alot.
<firewoman> knowing that you wont ever see him again...
<firewoman> and you didnt even get to say all the things that you wanted to say...
<firewoman> and knowing that nothing will ever be the same again,
<firewoman> and you'd have to plan ur future again...
<Orbital8> it's been over a year
<firewoman> cause he's not there to make it complete anymore.
<firewoman> not yet.
<Orbital8> and you guys were young. chances are, whatever plans you made wasn't gonna push through anyway
<firewoman> march 29, it'll be a year
<firewoman> a yearlang, and ive been through hell, believe me.
<firewoman> toolittle time to to heal.
<firewoman> tapos sunod sunod na crash.
<firewoman> school and work and guys and everything... all shit.
<firewoman> it's freaky. I'm such a mess right now.
<Orbital8> it's not like you have a monopoly on those problems
<Orbital8> everyone deals with school and work and relationships. so why can't you handle yours?
<firewoman> plus all the chismis and the extra burdens that you have to carry pa. ewan.
<firewoman> sorry a.
<firewoman> look, i dont need someone to make me feel like im weak and mababaw again.
<firewoman> ur pushing it.
<firewoman> pasensha na.
<firewoman> ive to go.
<firewoman> bye.
<firewoman> oh, one more thing pa. my best friend just got of the hospital. drug overdoze, she almost died. Id stop taking in shit if i were you. unsolicited advise lang. last thing she took...? ecstasy.
<firewoman> bye.
<Orbital8> oh please. anything can be bad for you if you abuse it.
<firewoman> bye.
<Orbital8> <firewoman> look, i dont need someone to make me feel like im weak and mababaw again. <-- the point is, you're not weak and you shouldn't feel weak
<firewoman> and please lang, next time someone shares serious stuff with you, wag mo babaliwalain. nakakagago e. ur not really helping at all... just comfort them and tell them everything is going to be alright.
<Orbital8> that's not it
<firewoman> kse ur saying na everyone goes through it, blah blah... na its been a year and all. you have no idea how painful it was. so stop acting like you are an authority on that or something.
<firewoman> bsta next time someone sharesstuff, just be there. and just try to make them feel like you really are there. kse the mere fact that they shared stuff means that its huge for them. not neccessarily for you, but for them it is.
<firewoman> un lang...
<Orbital8> but i'm here
<Orbital8> is it so bad if we dont agree on certain things?
<firewoman> im hurt and i miss him and its hard, and im guilty of stuff and im a mess, and all ur doing is telling me that im making such a big deal out of everything.
<Orbital8> you are
<Orbital8> but that's just me
<Orbital8> you dnt have to hate me for my opinion, do you?
<firewoman> its not the time to push on what you think is right and not right.
<Orbital8> oh wait
<firewoman> its not the time for opinions jm.
<Orbital8> hold on
<firewoman> sheeeesh.
<Orbital8> i never said i was right
<Orbital8> there's no right or wrong here
<firewoman> i never said you did.
<firewoman> ayoko kse ng argument e. i just want someone who could comfort me.
<Orbital8> look
<firewoman> and you so not good at doing that.
<Orbital8> whatever our differences, i'm not gonna leave you
<firewoman> "insensitive guy" really is a redundant phrase.
<firewoman> duh.
<Orbital8> but you just have to realize that there are friends who simply call it as it is
<firewoman> you could. doesn't matter.
<Orbital8> and i'm giving you a piece of my mind precisely because I care about you
<firewoman> you have no idea on what it really is.
<firewoman> all you know is an overview.
<Orbital8> maybe you're right
<firewoman> an its not basis enough for you to conclude anything.
<firewoman> your a law student. you should know that.
<Orbital8> i'm not making conclusions. i'm not judgmental
<firewoman> whatever dude. Don't say shit like that.
<firewoman> you are.
<firewoman> sheeeesh. read what you just typed. scroll up. then tell me ur not judgmental.
<firewoman> i dont need this right now.
<firewoman> ive to go.
<firewoman> thanks sa oras. bye.
<Orbital8> i'm just telling you what you need to hear
<Orbital8> if you don't like it, fine
<Orbital8> but it's what you need to hear
No such nick
Session Close: Sun Feb 22 03:07:48 2004
In retrospect, I guess I was too harsh on Leanne. Fine. I admit. I was harsh. Actually, I don't think I was harsh but a friend of mine who read the log said that I was really harsh. But I'm really like this. I don't beat around the bush and I say what I think. Yes, too often I say things in a very antagonistic and intimidating tone, and I guess it carries over even in chat. But rest assured, I am not judgmental and I don't pigeon-hole people. More importantly, I do not take things personally. I mean well. Really. Well, most of the time anyway, as in this case.
One friend of mine once quipped, "The cool thing about you, JM, is that you say what you think." Which was her way of not saying what she thinks: "The thing about you, JM, is that your people skills are so atrocious, you actually qualify for handicapped parking." But somehow, in spite of an inability to sway people to my way of thinking without resorting to chloroform, more often than not, they get the message that I mean well. Apparently, that doesn't apply to chat.
It was too late when I realized that we were just chatting. I got so caught up in the conversation that I forgot that she won't be able to note the sarcasm in my voice or the concern on my facial expression or body language.
True, I meant every word I said but that doesn't mean that I look down on her condescendingly. On the contrary, I think she's way up there when she's so troubled with problems that beset each and everyone of us.
Oh sorry. I told another friend of mine that I'd try positive scripting from now on. But how can I tell Leanne that worrying about self-inflicted problems is completely ridiculous? Oops, sorry.
Charlotte, a very attractive girl whom I met at a party, told me that being pretty is 90% personality. Of course, I only smiled. How can she tell me that it's all personality when she smiles at me with that unblemished pretty face, nice tan, soft lips, and perfect teeth? It also doesn't hurt that she's very eloquent, but you get the point.
Now I believe her. On first blush, Leanne is prettier. On first blush.
================================================
Leanne, stop whining and move on! So maybe I'm possibly the worst advisor in the world and the last person you should talk to when you're saddled with love problems but I mean well. I really do! Please don't be mad.
I've apologized to Leanne already. I'm pretty sure she's still sore about the whole thing, but it'll pass (I hope). Anway, I have a dilemma. You see, I'm a person with diverse interests. I love movies and DVDs, PC gaming, PC hardware, music remixing and editing, and surfing, chatting and other mundane stuff. The problem with being the jack of all trades is that you're the master of none. I love music editing but I still have a lot to learn. Same thing can be said for PC modding. Now, I'm trying my best to brush up on my HTML so I can spice up my blog site, but it's been so long.
Anyway, the dilemma is: I've so much to do and I end up doing nothing. I end up writing a blog. I could be finishing a PC game but I'm not. My Pure Shores remix is still a work in progress. And I still don't know shit about HTML. Well, at least my blog is updated.
By the way, I was able to make the scanner work. Finally! I used Photoshop and that triggered the Microtek driver. XP's scanner wizard still can't detect it but who cares? So long as I found a way to get around it.
One more thing, I'm plagued with lots of stuff that I wanna do that I listed them all, and I conveniently forget that I'm still a law student. Damn, my parents had it easy. They didn't have PCs. They didn't have internet. They didn't have all the hi-tech home theater equipment. And they say that the students of today are lazy? Not really. It's just the there's so much to do, and so little time.
I write blogs so that when I'm old and gray, I can read the thoughts of some stupid kid and see how much of me has changed. I told myself that the blogs here will be all about me. Well, I'm not really breaking my self-imposed rule since the post that I'll be sharing with you is about my country. My friends find it really amusing that, in this day and age when everyone is thinking of migrating and everyone equates the Philippines with 'hopelessnes', I'm remain very much patriotic. And an editorial from the Philippine Daily Inquirer struck a cord inside me that I thought I'd share this to all of you since this piece explains so much about the sad state of this country which was once full of promise.
Evil 'Legacies'
FIVE years ago a conference on the legacies of the Ferdinand Marcos dictatorship, the fall of which the nation will mark tomorrow, was held under the auspices of seven organizations at the Ateneo de Manila University. A participant questioned the use of the word "legacies" in referring to the things inherited from the Marcos dictatorship. He said that a "legacy" is a good thing handed down from one generation to another, but most of the things Marcos left were certainly anything but good.
For most people, Marcos' worst legacy was the economy. Marcos pillaged the economy to amass billions of dollars. He acquired international notoriety, and was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records under the title "biggest robbery." Guinness said that "the total wealth taken by the [First] Couple was believed to be $5-$10 billion."
Economists said that because Marcos, his relatives and cronies plundered the economy, the Filipinos became poorer and the nation became the basket case of the region. The debt-driven growth during the Marcos dictatorship was not sustainable and primarily benefited Marcos, his relatives and cronies.
Up to now the country is struggling to get out of the debt trap into which it was plunged by Marcos. The billions of pesos that are being used to pay the foreign debts that were accumulated during the Marcos regime could have been put to better use to provide social services and public infrastructure to the people.
Caesar Octavius Parlade, who used to be research director of the Presidential Commission on Good Government, said Marcos got a 15-percent cut on dollar-denominated projects and 20 percent on yen-denominated ones. While Marcos, his relatives and cronies amassed ill-gotten wealth through many "creative" means, the foreign debt ballooned, reaching a total of $27 billion shortly before the Conjugal Dictatorship was deposed.
That Marcos, his relatives and cronies robbed the country blind is a well-known fact. But what many people, especially the young, do not realize is that Marcos left a legacy far worse than plunder. He destroyed, corrupted or degraded most of the country's political institutions. He closed down Congress and later reopened it as the Batasang Pambansa [National Legislature] but made it his personal rubber stamp. He degraded the Judiciary and made it do his bidding. A chief justice of the Supreme Court was reduced to holding the umbrella for the First Lady.
Marcos coddled and corrupted the Armed Forces and the police. If the nation is suffering from occasional military adventurism and coup jitters now, it is because the concept of civilian superiority over the military was destroyed during Marcos' time. Marcos used the military and the police to commit human rights abuses against thousands of political dissidents, protesters and youth leaders.
Marcos prevented young, promising people from rising and becoming leaders of the nation by arresting and detaining them or, worse, ordering their execution. More than economic plunder, the intellectual, spiritual and psychological corruption of the nation and its institutions is the worse crime and is the most evil "legacy" of Marcos to the Filipino people. Mainly because of his "legacies," the nation finds itself bogged down in a mire of poverty, misery and despondency.
The ill-gotten wealth cases are just some of the cases that the nation has not finally resolved in the nearly two decades that have passed since the fall of Marcos. Other cases are those involving thousands of victims of human rights violations. Many of the military and police officers who killed or tortured political dissidents during the Marcos dictatorship are now occupying high positions in government.
It is said that the past is past; that what happened during the Marcos dictatorship should be forgotten so that the nation can start afresh. The cry is for reconciliation, for unity. But how can there be reconciliation when there is no admission and no justice? Before there can be forgiveness there must be confession and contrition.
The nation has to be constantly reminded of the "legacies" of the Marcos dictatorship until all the cases shall have been given a proper closure. The nation's memory needs to be constantly jogged and the truth has to be told and retold until the nation shall have obtained justice for the wrongs that Marcos and his people have done to it.
